


Secret

by Kumikoko



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-07 01:56:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6780679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kumikoko/pseuds/Kumikoko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just as the battle for humanity is to begin against the titans, Erwin decides to tell Armin a shocking secret in a farewell tone that leaves Armin terrified that he will never see the intelligent man again. </p><p>There might be chapter 80 spoilers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secret

**Author's Note:**

> I have no control.
> 
> Depending on how chapter 81, and 82 play out of Attack on Titan, I might edit this brief oneshot. For now, I decided to leave it off the way the manga leaves us: Unknowing of Erwin's fate. 
> 
> For once, there are no pairings. Sorry. 
> 
> (The secret in the fanfiction is probably fantasy, as it did not happen in the manga.)
> 
> I do not own the characters.

**Secret**

The return to Shiganshina was exhilarating and terrifying. Armin trembled the whole way there, and jumped periodically upon hearing a twig snap underneath someone’s boots, or the rustle of trees being brushed against by wind or an unknown force. Eren was apprehensive as well, for he knew just as much as Armin did that they would be seeing the titans that destroyed their childhood, and later betrayed them both on a deeply personal level.

There was no doubt in their mind that they would be fighting against Reiner and Bertholt both. The two destructive titans were intimidating beyond all belief, especially to Armin who, unlike Eren, could not morph into a tall giant. Armin was human—with bones that would snap at the mere flick of the Colossus titan’s fingers. Armin unconsciously rubbed his shoulder nervously, where he had once been injured when Eren tossed him out of an elderly titan’s mouth. Armin bit his bottom lip at the memory and shook harder.

Only Eren was a titan in their group, which meant their chance of success was slim to none. Armin glanced to Erwin, and tried to reassure himself that the confident commander had a fail proof plan to victory. Erwin’s hard gaze did not change, meaning he was serious about Armin leading a squad of people to seek the titans out. Armin wanted to tell Erwin that he could not be a leader, that he had poor leadership abilities because he was a perpetual coward and pacifist, but he did not say a word.

 _How am I supposed to lead them_? Armin wondered with rising panic.

All of a sudden, Erwin knelt down on one knee and wrapped his arm around Armin’s shoulders to pull him close. Armin gasped with surprise, while his body stiffened with uncertainty at what brought about the intimate touch.

“I am sorry I was not there for you when you were young.” Erwin whispered into Armin’s ear, his voice shockingly sincere and gentle, a stark contrast to the commanding tone Armin was used to hearing.

Stunned initially from what Armin could only describe as the warmest, most comforting hug he had ever received in his life, Armin was speechless and wide-eyed as he tried to figure out what the fuck was going on.

“If I had known that I impregnated her, I would have abandoned my ambitions to take care of her, and you, the way you were meant to be taken care of.” Erwin told the trembling boy, his tone quiet and serious.

“C-Commander—“ Armin sputtered, in a vain attempt to speak over his racing mind.

“I am proud of you, my son.” Erwin confessed, his affectionate words hushed to allow only Armin to hear.

“Commander! Where should we look first?” A soldier asked, awaiting orders dutifully. Erwin stood up, and when he spoke, all affection was gone, as if it had never been there.

 “I—Commander—I—I—“ Armin stuttered horribly, as his tongue tripped over the words he so desperately wanted to form into a question.

“Young Arlert will guide you from here on out. Arlert, do not disappoint me now.” Erwin said, using the powerful tone of voice everyone knew well. Armin shut up, realizing this was not the time to question Erwin about his words that strangely sounded like a farewell.

“The…” Armin looked around as he struggled to think through the mind revelation that Erwin might be his birth father. If that was true, as many soldiers in the army had teasingly suggested, that would mean that the man Armin thought was his Dad was actually just a father figure to him. The implications of Erwin’s words also meant his mother, however kind she may have been to her only child, was essentially a slut with a fetish for military men. That was not an image Armin wanted in his head of his own mother, but Erwin had no reason to lie about this.

Erwin knew just how important this mission was to humanity, and he knew that should something happen to him, Armin was the next best strategist. Armin knew Erwin would not say something like that to him in such a situation unless it was true—and that Erwin meant to not survive this battle. Armin’s blue eyes widened as he realized Erwin _must_ have been telling him goodbye.

 _Commander Smith—Father?—Does not think he will survive the outcome of this battle_? Armin felt his heart thump sporadically within his chest. _He can’t die—he can’t just say something like that to me and then die! I…if he is my father, than I have so many questions for him! I—_

“We are awaiting your command,” A soldier spoke up, interrupting Armin’s frantic thoughts.

“Walls! The walls, check the walls.” Armin exclaimed, recalling how titans could hide inside of the wall.

There were some soldiers who doubted Armin’s poorly executed command, but Erwin reminded them of their place in the military was to follow orders. Armin was grateful for Erwin’s interjection because he had been unsure that he could actually command the questioning soldiers to follow his theory.

A few grueling, apprehensive moments later, Reiner’s hiding spot was found, within the wall, just as Armin had figured out.

That was when the real battle began.

. . .

No one was sure just how long since the battle for humanity had begun, but each individual that was still breathing as a couple of the titans retreated knew that they were only alive because miracles existed. No one had thought they would survive the battle.

Who were left among the living?

Mikasa, Eren, Armin, Levi, Connie, Sasha, Jean, and a handful of nameless soldiers.

“Where…where is the Commander?” Armin asked Levi fearfully, who was leaning heavily against the wall. Levi just closed his eyes against the nausea, and clenched his hands into fists with what strength he had left, and slid onto his knees for he was unable to support himself. Every fiber of his being screamed at him to sleep or lay down and die already, but he struggled against the urgent need to become unconscious.

 _As soon as these brats figure out what is in the basement, and I return them home, I can close my eyes for good_. Levi told himself, in an attempt to ward sleep, and or death off.

Eren was not in any better of a condition than Levi was in. Mikasa was watching over her best friend intently, terrified that he would stop breathing. Jean, Connie, Sasha and the nameless living soldiers were practically scrape free, but they were just as haunted as anyone else.

No one would forget this harrowing day when the odds were stacked so high against them that there _had_ to be a God on their side for them to have actually held out until the titans retreated. Logic and reason alike told them they should not be alive right now.

“Is he…he’s not…he can’t…” Armin stuttered with denial as he began to look for Commander Erwin.

The complete destruction of his hometown had him shaking and feeling further victimized than the first time he had seen titans destroy his childhood roaming grounds. The battle may have been won, but at what cost? The war was still raging, and humanity had suffered losses they would not recover from. Armin knew in the pit of his stomach that if he found Erwin dead, there was no hope in rescuing humanity from the titans.

 _Please, don’t be dead_ … _we need you…I need you_.

 


End file.
